One thing I recommend to people when they ask me for advice, share their stories, or ask how I overcame certain obstacles, is to ask “why?” Be careful, this is not in the sense of “why me?” cuz I have been there before and that doesn’t help at all, but in the form of “why is this happening.” Now be careful here too because you can ask why it’s happening in a way that sounds like why me/why am i going through this, but if you change the emphasis to “why” and off of “I” or “me” then it becomes much more introspective and born out of curiosity.
I have become curious as to why this anxiety gets me and where it comes from. What about these triggers makes sense as to why it would make me anxious based on who I am and where I came from? Why does a social situation make me anxious sometimes and not others? If I don’t know anyone, I go back to my old habits of worrying about what others think of me, mind reading, and wondering if I will be bored, lonely, or awkward. This was born in high school when people did actually talk about me. Why is commitment hard for me? I didn’t see a lot of commitment growing up, I do not easily trust, I feel a loss of independence, I like options because OCD likes options….
Be curious. Be angry. Be intrigued. Be a detective. Not only will you be more equipped to fight any issues you are facing, but you will learn so much more about yourself.